Been a busy week and haven’t updated! Last Thursday I had my 12 week scan and all was perfect!! Yay!
The next day I was packing up and we were off on our annual holiday away. Plenty of relaxing has been done and I haven’t been feeling too bad although I have a feeling as soon as we leave the nausea might be back!
I’m still in shock that this is actually happening!! Come August we will have a new baby 🙂 exciting!! I’m still nervous about everything but holidays have helped calm me.
Next week at 14 weeks we have my next ob appointment. It will probably be too early but it would be awesome if she could see the gender… Can’t wait to find out!! At the moment I think a girl and based on bub theory a few have said girl. Exciting to find out!
This time tomorrow morning I’ll be on my way to my 12 week scan. As of this morning I’ve really started getting anxious and worrying a little… What happens if all isn’t right, what happens if I get bad odds for downs? I think have every scenario covered in my head haha!!
But I guess what happens if it’s all right? Will I finally be able to relax and really start to enjoy being pregnant and our holiday next week!
It’s going to be a long day wondering and worrying. Atleast I have the fact that I’ve been feeling rubbish and it should be a really good sign!
Please be all good bub!!!!!
I can’t believe I’m writing that I’m 11 weeks today!!
2 weeks ago I had a little bit of red and brown spotting so I went to ob. She did a scan and all was perfect! It was a relief as it was pretty much the same point 9+1 that I found out about my mmc the other time.
Last week was horrible from Sunday to Thursday I was feeling pretty sick, didn’t throw up luckily but still was rather draining.
In 10 days it’s nuchal scan time, I can’t believe it’s almost here. Hopefully all is perfect and then I can relax. The following week we are away on holidays. We are off to our favourite beach Holiday location, it’s where hubby proposed so it’s pretty special place for us.
Last year I was still going through my blighted ovum miscarriage at the time we were there, I was on antibiotics too so it was pretty bad holiday on my front. I wasn’t allowed to drink until the last day (who doesn’t need a drink when dealing with a miscarriage!!), I wasn’t allowed to swim so I just had to watch hubby and my son having a great time. I did however make some good sand castles!
I’m really hoping this time it’s a perfect holiday. After our holiday we have our next ob appointment, hopefully after that all is good and we can announce 🙂 I do have a good feeling about it all but I’m scared to allow myself to get too excited.
Hopefully the next week goes fast and it’s NT scan day before I know it!
Yesterday I had my ob appointment and scan. I had been feeling at ease the last few days about it all which was weird. yesterday morning the nerves started though!
Went into obs room a few bits of chit chat, said I was a little nervous when I didn’t feel sick etc so she decided to just do the scan to check all is good! I was watching very very closely I just wanted to see the flicker and there it was I could see it!! hubby didn’t see it straight away though but we were telling him it was there .. phew relief! then it was time to measure. measurements were spot on!! yay a couple were a day or so short but it was in my acceptable difference. the relief I felt, the happiness I felt it was amazing.
I was on cloud 9 all day, now it feels real, it feels like its going to happen!! 8+2 with a heart beat, surely its going to be a sticky one this time!!
12 week scan will be in another 4 weeks or so and then I can relax even more. I can’t believe its finally happening!!
So two nights ago I was having some really awkward cramps right near my hip, they felt different to gas pains. I was having a little freak out yesterday so I decided to go to the gp. She was obviously concerned at the small chance of ectopic so she sent me for a scan. Hubby came with me.
First was the abdominal scan which showed the heart beat and showed bub in the right place measuring at 6+1. Yesterday I should of been 6+6. Then it was time for the internal scan yay. It was the most painful internal scan I’ve had she was really pushing and making me sit up on my hands ouch. scan didn’t show much better best she measured was 6+2. I’m a bit devastated at that its almost taken away from seeing the heart beat.
I know the day I ovulated because I was charting. I was expecting to be maybe a couple days behind but not 4 or 5! With my first missed miscarriage my first scan I was measuring 6 days behind. The last couple of days has seen me start to loose my pregnancy symptoms. Friday / Saturday I had full on morning sickness (not spewing luckily) but now its pretty much non existent. bloating has decreased, gas is decreasing, nipples are still sensitive though.
My first ob appointment is next Thursday that’s 9 days away. i’m preparing myself that’s its going to happen again that there will no longer be a heart beat that something will once again be wrong with bub. I know its really bad thinking this way but why are my symptoms going again ahhhh. please please little bub prove me wrong next Thursday!!
Today i’m 5+2 .. time is going fast but also soo slow!! I got my hcg back last week and at 3+6 it was 157 which was a great number for that early.
I’ve been soo anxious certain its not going to work out, which I guess with two previous losses is totally normal. I’m finding it hard to think that this could all work out that in 3 weeks time we will see a bub measuring what it should with a good heart beat. I’m counting down and looking forward but I guess i’m just scared, scared of it failing and having to go through another loss.
So far this week I’ve had more symptoms start .. I’ve had bloating definitely starting (although not crazy much today). I have a gross metallic taste in my mouth, a bit of nausea when I haven’t eaten for awhile, I think my boobs are a bit bigger at certain times of the day but they are sore and sensitive. I’ve been starting to get that figetty tummy, that feeling when your sitting still and your belly just feels weird like something is in side it! besides that i’m waiting and hoping for nausea to kick in soon. They say its usually around 6 weeks so lets see what they next few days bring! It sounds really silly but I can’t wait to throw up! With my son it was only a few times that I ever did throw up. with my last two I never got to that point. Also waiting for my skin to start going crazy, a few pimples have appeared in the last day or so but nothing crazy.
I wish there was a way of knowing all was going to be okay this time around, but instead its just a waiting game!
I’ve been meaning to update on everything that’s happened and in the last week the story has got bigger.
Last Tuesday I had an appointment with my obgyn. She decided that we would have a few test run and I would get a Saline Sonohysterogram. I got this booked in for the Wednesday after the Christmas break but due to all the public holidays if my period was a day late I would have to reschedule as I would be out of the allowable window. I got my 21day bloods back that afternoon and all was good.
On sunday I was having a Christmas lunch with family so I knew I would test early to make sure before I had Chrissy food etc. I woke up Friday morning 10dpo and decided to test… I was in shock it was positive! no way did I believe it so I tested a few hours later, positive again!! I tested the next few mornings to be sure and sure enough it was getting darker!! My period was due yesterday and nothing, not a spot of bleeding. I went to drs yesterday to get my initial bloods done and hcg etc. I forgot to ask to have the results waiting for me to ring etc oh well I guess I don’t really need to know a number!
My obgyn appointment is scheduled for the 19th January .. that’s 4 1/2 weeks away ahhh its going to be a long wait. Lets hope the next 4 1/2 weeks are incident free! I still can’t believe i’m pregnant!! Tomorrow is 2 years since the surgery that caused my toxic shock. I got my little Christmas miracle!! now stick little bub!! Bring on 2017!
I’m currently 7dpo which means i’m in the middle of my TWW. So as usually every symptom is being questioned, every temperature I record is being analysed, every everything is being questioned.
We are going away this weekend with family for a celebration, which means there will be alcohol. Originally AF was meant to arrive on Saturday so I would of know if it was UTD or not by the time we went but I ovulated late this month. Now i’m tossing up the whole do I have a few half glasses of wine or do I not have any and risk family thinking oh maybe shes pregnant which I don’t want to happen. I never drink in my TWW so its new to me. I could test before I go on Saturday morning but i’m scared, i’m too scared to test, i’m too scared to just incase its positive but the next day turns out to be a negative again. I’m too scared to test cause if I get a bfn i’ll be disappointed. I’m too scared to test because I might be pregnant and i’m scared of how it will play out this time. The whole experience now makes me fearful of the unknowns.
Should I test Saturday before we go .. yes… at least if its negative I know that having a half drink wont impact anything. Its probably a bit selfish drinking if there is a chance I might be UTD but after 7 months plus the time before with my two miscarriages I just want to have a drink because it feels like i’m never going to fall pregnant and I always push off the drink just incase I am. I feel every month things get frozen, can’t book that holiday yet will wait to see if i’m knocked up this month first, can’t do that just incase i’m knocked up, can’t eat that, can’t drink that ahhh it all consumes us after awhile!
So readers should I test on Saturday? and should I be selfish and have those couple of half glasses of wine this weekend?
Its now been 6 months since we started ttc again and no luck. This month my body almost tricked me, I was a couple days late and I tested but I think I tested too early. I felt like I was pregnant had that tummy bloating feeling those mild cramps you get in early pregnancy that lasted 4 days (I never get them that early before AF). I was then going to test when we got home from holidays but while waiting for the flight home the mean AF started! The next morning I took a test just to be sure and a really faint line came up! I was really apprehensive about it all. I went to the drs and got bloods done anyway. dr agreed that its time to see whats going on, if I’ve had a couple of tests of the 6 months that have shown positive and nothing happens it means something isn’t sticking, something is probably going on. I have to call to find out my results today and i’m sure it won’t be good as I took another test this morning and it was negative. I just hope that there was a tiny bit of hcg picked up in the blood test enough to show something did happen and try to implant etc. Then it will be on to the world of testing, finding out whats going on.
The past 15 months has been filled with happiness and sadness but now its time to find answers, find out whats happening, hopefully beginning of next year will be our time to have a nice sticky baby and be properly pregnant. I’m not expecting anything to happen this year but hopefully 2017 is the year for us!!
Although there is sadness and disappointment that this month might of been soo close there is also a glimmer of hope that maybe now we will get to the bottom of it all. Find out whats going on. Everytime dh and I talk about it we always wonder if its because of my toxic shock and if something isn’t right. Reality is that since I was sick I haven’t had anything on my reproductive side checked, not even thyroid levels etc to make sure everything is in check which could be causing issues .. well besides the round of pregnancy bloods that I had both times.
Yesterday was also a big day … we pulled down mr 2 1/2 cot! its not needed anymore, hes officially in a bed. I always imagined it wouldn’t be pulled down, It would be moved back into the nursery but it turns out that wasn’t to be. We now have to figure out where to store a cot and a cot mattress till its next needed. He also decided he likes to climb the change table! Won’t be long before that is pulled down too 😦
hopefully within a few months I have exciting news to share!!
I was expecting AF (period) to arrive today but no it decides to show up early. At the beginning I had hope that it was just a bit of bleeding but not AF bleeding but no i’m pretty certain it is AF. I even took a test this morning and ofcourse it was a Big Fat Negative!!!
that’s the 5th month crashed and burnt …when will it be my time, when will this rollercoaster finally get to the good part? when will I finally be pregnant!!
Days like today I hit rock bottom and sometimes wish I would be content with one child, and only child, but i’m not I really want a sibling for him. I’m not ready for this part of my life to be over, i’m not ready for my boy to grow up and him not have a brother or sister to play with. I look at him now and think how good it will be for him to have another kid around to play with but it makes me feel soo weak and thinking if i’m not able to do it. Who says I will ever have another baby? the universe might be setting me up for the inevitable … who knows my toxic shock might of completely stuffed my body!! maybe its the universe warning me that having another baby might not have good end results for me?
I just wish there was a way / a sign to know that all will be good in the future.