The next day was Christmas day .. the day id been looking forward to for months. our babies first Christmas! Before my surgery I had asked the doctor and she assured me that I was going to be fine for Christmas day of course she had no idea what was going to go wrong. That morning I cried, I cried cause I was in hospital, I cried cause I wasn’t home, I cried cause I was sick and I cried because I missed my husband and baby soo much. It was the first day in a awful long time that I had not woken up to see either of them straight away. It was hard I didn’t want a nurse to see me crying ofcourse. Even now just thinking about that day makes me upset.
I got to go have a shower which was fantastic, I needed it soo much. Soon after hubby came to visit, it was great seeing him but i just wanted to be home, i didn’t want to be there, it was a tough day. He left and went and grabbed bub so i could see him, i definetely needed a visit. That morning the doctors finally visited and i found out i was allowed to move to a ward woohoo!! it was great news, i still didn’t know what happened as i had heard the nurses / doctors saying different things but i knew i was getting better. That afternoon hubby came back with his parents and bub. it was great seeing him for a second time and to be able to sort of hold him was great especially being christmas day. they brought some presents in as well which made it feel a bit like christmas day. That night was lonely but at least i was in the comfort of my own room on a ward and finally had a bit more privacy.
The next day i was waiting on a visit from the specialist to hear what was going on. i was eager to start getting my catheder taken out and find out how long i was going to be in hospital for. He never showed up, it was very annoying. The other doctor had even said that my test results were showing i had liver issues, i was starting to worry. By this stage my arms looked like they had been poked and proded soo many times trying to get blood tests, from canulas and everything. The doctor at least got them to remove a iv which was causing me to not be able to bend my arm.
The next day was day 5 .. i was ready to go home! i was feeling much better. Finally the specialist came and saw me. he said if it wasn’t for the fact i had a baby at home i would of been able to go home that day. He said majority of the symptoms i was showing were all pointing to Toxic Shock Syndrome, i had heard nurses mention this in the hall before so i wasn’t suprised. i was told i could go home in two days on the monday .. best news i had heard. a few extra days on antibiotics was going to be better and more time to build up my strength again.
After i knew what i had i started to look it up and i soon realised just how lucky i was. if i had stayed at home longer, if i didn’t start getting the right antibiotics etc who knows what would of happened. Still to this day if i think about it too long and i realise what happened i get upset about the christmas i missed, how sick i was, what could of happened.
Pretty soon after i went home i figured out how much i needed to recover still, i was tired, i had to build up my appetite again etc. It was all a rollercoaster. i had to stop breastfeeding as it was seeming near impossible to keep it up in hospital and my supply had pretty much stopped. that makes me sad at times but i know i did the best i could considering everything that happened.The week after i was freaking out that i was getting it again, i had a raised temperature, i wasn’t feeling well but it turns out to be nothing.
Its now a couple months later and even though i had the surgery to fix granulation tissue it didn’t work. i’ve been back and forth to my doctor and now i’m about to have to go to a plastic surgeon to see what they can do. What i do know is i would need a awful lot of convincing to have surgery again.
I’ve been told by a couple of obstetricians that next time i should have a c-section. I had the best labour it wasn’t any dramas and now next time i need a full on invasive delivery. It just shows you that you never know whats going to happen. I am grateful for everyone who helped me through it and it seems like a blur now. It took me weeks later before i could sleep properly without getting nightmares of hospitals and bad things happening but now its all in the past.