why is early pregnancy so hard?!

Today I am 5 weeks 1 day I should be excited but instead i’m unsure of what the future holds.

Two days ago I went to the gp to get my pregnancy confirmed. Because I had a period before a positive test she was worried about ectopic pregnancy so I had to go for a scan. I went for a scan that night and a gestational sac was found which matched exactly to my dates… I was getting excited!

The next day at lunch time I felt a gush and realised that it was blood. After the initial bit it was there when I wiped for a few hours and I thought all was over. Randomly my gp called with scan results. She told me to go see her today.

I went and saw her she said there is no point for blood tests soo quick so if I bleed again in the next week I have to go for the repeat blood test in a week but if I don’t bleed then I get to wait 2 weeks. This is to be a long wait!! Its been a day with no bleeding now. I got my hcg results back and they were 3500 at 5 weeks so nice and high!

After the last one being a missed miscarriage and now this I really don’t know how i’m going to cope if it doesn’t eventuate. I hope that if its not meant to be that it happens sooner rather then later but I just really want this one to be alright. Every cramp, every twinge, every time I go to the bathroom its all I think about.

Its soo hard to think about but right now if I loose this one too I think I won’t be able to just start trying again straight away, its like there is something not right with my body 😦

Right now all I want to know is that I have a healthy bub and I want to fast forward till 13 weeks. Why does it have to be this hard?? Last time it was the second month trying and we now have a awesome son. I just want to know its all going to be okay. I don’t think I can handle something else going wrong, this is meant to be a better year then the previous 13 months of badluck I had!

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