Tomorrow I should be 6 weeks. Instead of feeling excited i’m feeling, unsure, worried, concerned and just generally not sure of the whole situation. What i’m not feeling is excitement which I should be.
Yesterday I had another bleed this time tiny hardly anything. I actually think it was from pushing my self while walking and pushing the pram. I have looked back at my fit bit and both times my heart rate has got over 140 eek maybe I brought it on myself.
I’ve been having abdominal cramps which in the past have been linked to wind but they just seem constant. I currently haven’t had them for a hour or so but it just worries me that something could be wrong.
I had another blood test this morning and i’m back at GP tomorrow. She said to wait a week but I wanted to see her before she goes on holidays so I’ve snuck it a day earlier.
The hard part is its not just waiting to hear a heart beat as I saw that last time but I still lost my bub. I’m waiting for the 12 week scan and for the due date. But right now it seems its day by day week by week.
Only two weeks and we go away for holidays. If something bad is going to happen I hope it happens before then!
my boobs are itchy, I feel a like nausea but hardly any it makes me wonder is this actually happening? but then I think could life be this cruel and put me through this again?? I feel guilty for saying I just want a healthy baby when I already have one but all I want is one more and then we are done. I don’t think I could possibly go through this for a 3rd time!!
Ah only time will tell. I need to somehow relax in the mean time but i’m just not sure how at the moment.