Pity party for one

I knew it was only a matter of time before my good mood came crashing down .. and it happened last night.

I was catching up with friends for dinner, luckily the one with the newborn baby (due same time I was due) didn’t show up. I knew there were 2 pregnant ladies but when I arrived there were 3! and to make matters worse the 3rd is having twins!

I’m happy for them but when you get a group of 5 girls together and 3 are pregnant the conversation automatically goes to pregnancy and babies. I felt like I wanted to run, escape, get out of there. I had wished I had come up with a reason to leave earlier, I had wished that the conversation would of changed .. but it didn’t .. it stays baby related. for a short time our toddlers were discussed but mainly it was babies.

I walked out of their after a agonising 2 hours and got the my car, all I wanted to do was cry, cry for what I didn’t have, cry for what could of been, cry cause I feel i’m being left behind on this trying to conceive rollercoaster. I managed to drive home with just a few tears luckily.

I’m just soo scared that we will return from holidays next month and I still won’t be pregnant and that I will have to start the rollercoaster of finding out whats wrong.

Today i’m having a pity party all for myself.

One day it will be me .. one day ….

 

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4 thoughts on “Pity party for one

  1. Yes I can relate! I am the only one in my group of friends here who doesn’t have any kids, so there have been lots of times when they were all discussing their pregnancies, how many kids they would have, etc and I just felt left behind. Hugs

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