The fear of the future unknowns can be scary

I’m currently 7dpo which means i’m in the middle of my TWW. So as usually every symptom is being questioned, every temperature I record is being analysed, every everything is being questioned.

We are going away this weekend with family for a celebration, which means there will be alcohol. Originally AF was meant to arrive on Saturday so I would of know if it was UTD or not by the time we went but I ovulated late this month. Now i’m tossing up the whole do I have a few half glasses of wine or do I not have any and risk family thinking oh maybe shes pregnant which I don’t want to happen. I never drink in my TWW so its new to me. I could test before I go on Saturday morning but i’m scared, i’m too scared to test, i’m too scared to just incase its positive but the next day turns out to be a negative again. I’m too scared to test cause if I get a bfn i’ll be disappointed. I’m too scared to test because I might be pregnant and i’m scared of how it will play out this time. The whole experience now makes me fearful of the unknowns.

Should I test Saturday before we go .. yes… at least if its negative I know that having a half drink wont impact anything. Its probably a bit selfish drinking if there is a chance I might be UTD but after 7 months plus the time before with my two miscarriages I just want to have a drink because it feels like i’m never going to fall pregnant and I always push off the drink just incase I am. I feel every month things get frozen, can’t book that holiday yet will wait to see if i’m knocked up this month first, can’t do that just incase i’m knocked up, can’t eat that, can’t drink that ahhh it all consumes us after awhile!

So readers should I test on Saturday? and should I be selfish and have those couple of half glasses of wine this weekend?



9 thoughts on “The fear of the future unknowns can be scary

  1. Personally I’d have a drink or two. My consultant (a recurrent miscarriage specialist) is a big believer in relaxing with the odd glass of wine. He thinks that not allowing yourself something you want is just as bad. There is some science to back this up too but I can’t remember. It’s something to do with the brain not producing sufficient hormones that encourage fertility if we’re constantly going against what we want. And he strongly believes that it doesn’t do any harm as long as I don’t go overboard.

    I wouldn’t test though. At 9DPO it’s almost certainly going to be negative regardless of whether you’re pregnant or not. So you’ll probably feel half gutted but half disbelieving too.

    It’s funny, I’m in a similar situation that after getting pregnant really easily but miscarrying every time I have now been trying to get pregnant for 5 months and I can’t. It’s really frustrating isn’t it! I really hope this month is the one for you! Xx

    • Thanks I think I’m not going to test and will have a drink or two spaced out ofcourse πŸ™‚ I’ll take a test with me just incase i decide to use it! Amazing what stress can do to our bodies.

      How annoying is it! You go yeah it will happen fast and then it doesn’t! Arghh … I’m heading next month to specialist for testing, hopefully I’m utd before then. Hope number 5 is your lucky month. Hopefully we both won’t be drinking wine Christmas day πŸ™‚

  2. I would have the wine. But then if I had given up drinking in every TWW I would have been giving up drinking once a month for the past 14 months, and it would not have been relevant even once. Stress is supposed to be worse than a small amount of alcohol anyway.

    • Thanks πŸ™‚ I chart my bbt and it was on a downward. I looked at my chart again and realised I’m probably 2 days ahead of where I was, others agreed. I took a test this morning 3 hour hold and bfn! At 10dpo I would of thought I would of seen a bit of a line if there was going to be. If my bbt goes down tomorrow I’ll know that af is on its way. Guess I might be having a few drink’s! Won’t be swimming but I’ll be drinking haha

  3. I would have the wine. After 3 failed pregnancies and doing everything by the letter for each of them I really don’t think a wine or 2 will hurt. The stress of dealing with people’s assumptions would be worse. Saying that though, you have to do what is right for you mentally. If you have the drink and then have a positive test will you crucify yourself for having the drink and worry more because of it. I remember this all too well and I really sympathise with you. Be kind to yourself and let your hair down if that’s what you want to do.

    • in the end the next month I had a drink around 6dpo and ended up with a positive test!! not worried about the drink luckily as it was a very spread out drink .. didn’t drink it fast that’s for sure

  4. I think you should just go ahead and just have some wine but ideally with food and try to limit it to two glasses max. There are so many women who didn’t realise they were pregnant and had drunk a bit during the two week wait and everything was fine. Just don’t go crazy and get too drunk. Hope you have a nice trip!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s